M.A.T.C.H dot C.O.M

I won't be embarrassed at all, I'm just going to come out and say it. YES, I signed up for match.com. YES, I decided I was tired of sitting at home wishing I had a cat to converse with. YES, I did it. You see the commercials. You wonder. And then there's Jay Manuel from ANTM telling you it's okay to look. I mean, who doesn't listen to Jay Manuel!?!? So, I tried it. I tried it because I'm a 27 year old going through a divorce. I tried it because dating after not dating for 4 years is pretty scary. So, match was my way of jumping over the "back in the dating game" hurtle. And it worked, like a charm - not saying that I'm out there dating it up. And I also won't say it made me realize how AWESOME I am (lol), my friends and family remind me of that everyday, in their own special ways. But it made me realize I have nothing to be scared of.

Plus now I have lots of funny stories (and actually some good ones) to share with my friends. But there was that guy from the gas station, that was my own damn fault, I can't blame match.com for that one.

How about a Play Date?

A play date? As opposed to a real date? "No", he says. "I think it would be cool if our kids..." Okay, TIME OUT - TECHNICAL FOUL, buddy, TECHNICAL FOUL! What makes it okay for our kids to get together if we haven't even been in the same place together for more than 3 hours. And no, you can't count the time it took to drive to the restaurant and drive me home. So here's what I say to the play date. Unless you are talking about us having a dress rehearsal for our date (which incidentally, I highly suggest), then I'm going to have to T you up and ask you to leave the game.

Pickin Men is like pickin apples

You know a date is headed in the wrong direction when:
1. You want to smack your date in the head with a miniature golf club.
2. Your date gets physically upset when you keep beating him at Tekken 3.
3. Your date almost cries when you say you're tired of whooping his ass at Tekken 3.
4.You sit on candy and he points and laughs at you.
5. You are offered an Icee as a means of wooing you.
6. You are more or less ignoring him at the dinner table because he keeps asking you why you are drinking grass. And this is still after telling him repeatedly that lemongrass is an herb, and you're not drinking Kentucky blue grass.
7. You get pissed when the waiter thinks you ordered the fish and not that beautiful 8 oz steak he's handing to your date.
8. He answers his phone during dinner and says he's having dinner with his Boo.
9. He touches your leg and you cock back to punch him.
10. He comes back from the bar with your beer and his pear cider.

Yeah buddy, I sure do know how to pick 'em.

What will your t-shirt say?

My t-shirt simply states, "If you're thinking Red Lobster, you're thinking WRONG!"

Beth (http://www.myowntwosticks.com), Kate (http://www.katefranco.com), and I were talking about the idea of making t-shirts that accomplish a couple of goals:
1. Lets people know a little about you ("I like to Say Poop") or
("I tend to gesture with my feet").
2. wards off the crazies ("No, I will not drive by your house to see if I like it enough to come in!") or ("My marionette thinks you're hot!").

So, what will your t-shirt say?

My Brand of Crazy

Well, here it goes. Two of my rather wonderful friends gave me the idea for this blog. In the past few months I've had concentrated instances of really bad dates. Yes, the kind that makes you turn tail and climb out the bathroom window (I will not admit to or deny this).

So, welcome to my brand of crazy. The kind of crazy that I only encounter. The kind of crazy that no one seems to believe exists. The kinda of crazy that invites you over to Thanksgiving dinner after knowing you for about 3 minutes....okay maybe I embellished a little there, but you get my point.